Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Entertainment Report Issue #21 (WWE Elimination Chamber, Oscars, Razzies, Glee, Comic Book Men and much more!)

"Luck be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady tonight. Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with. Please be a lady tonight."




As WrestleMania season starts, the report will become very busy. That being said make sure you follow our Twitter account @EReport1 for upcoming news and info. Everything goes through there first. For instance this week I made a big announcement concerning future issues, Scotty live tweeted from the Wave/Soul game in Chicago and I posted up my Raw reaction from the PWTorch. This will be constantly updated and will be the place to find out all kinds of info concerning this blog and it's writers.

As for tonight's issue our coverage of award season continues. Joe and I have teamed up for the Academy Awards and the picks are pretty interesting. Also I would like to welcome avid movie fan Kyle Palkowski to the team who is providing us with Razzie Award picks.

As always I would like to thank @travlord (despite our little Twitter fight during the Devils/Flyers game on Friday night) and the @EastCoastCast for all the continued support.

Alright let's get into this jam packed issue...

Results

  • Pre Show: Brodus Clay and Tensai defeated Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) when Clay and Tensai pinned Rhodes
  • Alberto Del Rio submitted Big Show to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
  • Antonio Cesaro defeated The Miz to retain the United States Championship by disqualification
  • Jack Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match to become the #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship
    • Elimination Order:
      • Mark Henry pinned Daniel Bryan
      • Mark Henry pinned Kane
      • Randy Orton pinned Mark Henry
      • Randy Orton pinned Chris Jericho
      • Jack Swagger pinned Randy Orton
  • The Shield defeated John Cena, Ryback and Sheamus when Rollins pinned Ryback
  • Dolph Ziggler pinned Kofi Kingston
  • Kaitlyn pinned Tamina to retain the WWE Divas Championship
  • The Rock pinned CM Punk to retain the WWE Championship

Thoughts

The Shield defeated a super all star team and Jack Swagger is the #1 contender. Those were just the major headlines and they are starting to make WrestleMania interesting.

In other news, it looks like we are getting Cena/Rock II. Hopefully Mandy will make it through the whole match unlike last year.

As for the rest of the show it was pretty much what I expected. Didn't expect the ending of Cesaro/Miz but I guess this sets up a rematch.

If anything this night showed me that despite the part timers and veterans, there's going to be a surprising youth movement at WrestleMania. It's about time WWE!



Click here to read a full detailed preview for the 2013 Razzie Awards



I have to admit, the producers of Glee know how to take us on a roller coaster ride. What a night, what a show. I feel it made all Gleeks happy to be home to watch the show on Valentine's Night.

So let's get right into the Will and Emma wedding. Everyone returned to be at the wedding, well kinda. There was no marriage. Emma got cold feet and ran off during an insane song, Getting Married Today. While I really didn't know this song, it was fun to watch and I didn't know Emma can sing like that. That being said, Will told everyone that the reception was still on and that's where the fun began.

Before we go there, before the wedding Jake turned to Ryder for advice for Marely for Valentine's Day and Ryder obligated, despite his obvious feelings for her. The first part of all this was an in class room performance of You're All I Need To Get By which might be their best song yet.

Alright onto the reception. Blaine and Kurt reunites on stage singing Just Can't Get Enough. This was after they were making out in the limo earlier that Mercedes broke up. That didn't sit well with Tina who flipped out on Kurt. This led to him calling her a hag and give him a reason to use the term "vaborape" in a sentence. Emma had set up Artie with her niece Betty, whom is also in a chair, and despite a rough start totally hit it off. Rachel caught the bouquet which led Finn to confront her and pretty much reproclaimed his love for her. Santana and Quinn, to everyone's surprise, got really close, drunk, touchy-feely and danced all night. Finally Jake revealed to Ryder that his real goal was to sleep with Marley and that caused Ryder to almost snap.

This all led to We've Got Tonite which showed Rachel & Finn, Artie & Betty, Kurt & Blaine, Quinn & Santana and Jake & Marley going into hotel rooms. Everyone had sex except Jake & Marely and the Internet broke again with love and hatred from Quinntana. The Glee world then tried to catch their collective breath.

But that just led to the aftermath. Here's a checklist...


  • Artie & Betty got together as a couple and went on a date, adorable.
  • Tina apologized to Blaine & Kurt and officially was proclaimed their hag, which Kurt reminded her was that not a bad thing, very sweet.
  • Marley confronted Ryder and told him that she knew that he helped Jake and thanked him, Ryder then kissed her, mouth open in shock that he actually grew a pair.
  • Finn encouraged Will with a pep talk and the coaches of New Directions got the group on stage for Anything Could Happen (fitting song) while Will was distracted by pictures of Emma on his phone, heartbreaking.

So finally Rachel returned to New York and Brody is waiting for her. She doesn't say anything about sleeping with Finn and he lied to her about something, we saw a shot of him walking out of a room with alot of cash. They then had sex, yes shocking, but then we cut to Rachel going through her calendar book. She panics and runs to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test and it faded to black. What the hell was that? Whoa!

All these questions will be answered...on March 7th. Really? Damn them!

Episode: Clash at the Stash

After a two month break, Comic Book Men returned with a fun show. The major portion of the show came when UFC fighter Nate Quarry asked Walt to carry his indy comic Zombie Cage Fighter, so in return Walt get Quarry to set up a fight between two costumed fighters. Kevin and Jason Mewes joined the staff for the fight. The fighters ended up being dressed as Jay & Silent Bob, Jay won.

The items in question this week were a Juggernaut, Green Lantern/Green Arrow (Vol. 2) #76, and a pair of Superman and Wonder Woman Underoos. In a bizarre moment, Ming actually put on the Wonder Woman pair, thinking Walt would put on the Superman pair. Seriously how did Ming fall for that gag?

All good things must come to an end. Sunday afternoon the Missouri Comets snapped the Milwaukee Wave's 16 game winning streak with a 17-9 win over the league leaders. Recently named player of the week, Leo Gibson, led the Comets charge with a hat-trick, and Ian Bennett recorded a hat-trick of his own for the Wave. For much of the first half, it was the Gibson-Bennett show. Bennett scored the first two goals of the game before Gibson answered with two goals of his own. Bennetts third goal of the evening was scored from 3-point range.

The next night in Chicago it was the Bennett-Farias show with both players scoring a hat-trick. Tenzin Rampa opened the scoring followed up with goals from Luan Oliviera and Ian Bennett. Pablo scored first for the Soul to make it 6-2 in favor of Milwaukee. Bennett scores his second of the evening and 5th in 2 days to give the Wave an 8-2 lead at the break. 3 consecutive goals by Carlos "Chile" Farias, with the last one being scored with 0:01 remaining on the board, sparked the Soul's comeback. A free kick from outside the Wave's penalty box was awarded to the Soul and Carlos Munoz fired off a perfect shot around the wall with 5 minutes remaining. A goal from Nick Perera tied the game at 10. With two minutes remaining, Hewerton (everton) converted the game winner. Bennett finished off his 3rd of the evening when the Soul pulled goalkeeper Jeff Richey in favor of the 6th attacker. The ensuing play resulted in some "extra-curricular" activity. Fred Degand of the Soul was issued a red card as he had accumulated 3 cards on the night, and Bennett was sent to the box with a yellow card. The final buzzard rang and the score was 15-10 Wave who remains in first place at 18-3.


2/15/13-Philadelphia at New Jersey

When Travis Zajac scored 40 seconds into the game, it looked like it would be an easy night for the Devils. That wasn't the case as the Flyers grabbed a 3-1 lead before the end of the period. Jersey came back to life 26 seconds into the second when newly reacquired Alexei Ponikarovsky scored to make it an one goal game. Later in the period Patrik Elias tied the game up. David Clarkson completed the comeback, and continued his red hot start, scoring his tenth goal halfway through the third. The game was sealed on a Steve Bernier empty netter.

2/16/13-New Jersey at New York Islanders

Lead by John Tavares's hat trick, the Islanders routers the Devils 5-1. The Isles were 3 for 5 on the power play as New Jersey collapsed. Marek Zidlicky scored the lone Jersey goal in defeat.

2/18/13-Ottawa at New Jersey

This started out so well. Stephen Gionta scored 1:19 into the game and the Devils dominated the first period out shooting the Sens 17-9. After that, Ben Bishop and the Senators shut them down. Daniel Alfredsson tied the game 8:12 into the third and then after a wild period, then went to a shootout. Jakob Silfverberg got the lone shootout goal and the Sens won.

After a rare three days off, the Devils head to Washington to play two games, tomorrow night and Saturday afternoon (on NHL Network) against the Capitals. Then on Sunday they return home to play the Winnipeg Jets.

2/15/13-San Antonio at Milwaukee

If you look at the first 59 minutes of this game it was very ugly for the Admirals. Lead by a goal and assist from Mike Santorelli & Jed Ortmeyer, the Rampage took a 4-2 lead. That was until the final minute. In one of the most miraculous moments I've experienced, Chris Mueller scored two goals in 39 seconds to send the game to overtime. In overtime Milwaukee captain Mike Moore won the game at 2:29 to complete the amazing comeback.

2/16/13-Charlotte at Milwaukee

Wow, what happened? There are no words. Riley Nash tallied two goals and two assists and Brett Sutter got four assists as the Checkers destroyed the Admirals 8-2. Kevin Henderson and Michael Latta got the Ads goals.

2/17-Abbotsford at Milwaukee

It looked like a long night for the Ads after the Heat took a 1-0 lead into the 2nd period on a goal from Tyler Rueggegger. But that was the only goal that would go past Mangus Hellberg for the rest of the night. Just over two minutes into the second period, Kevin Henderson tied the game. This held till halfway through the third period when Michael Liamsbas scored to give the Ads the lead. Taylor Beck capped the victory with an empty better.

Next week the Admirals go on a four game road trip. They start tomorrow night in Lake Erie to face the Monsters. Then over they have back to back afternoon in Toronto against the Marlies on Saturday and in Hamilton to take on the Bulldogs. Finally on Tuesday night the Ads head back to Lake Erie.


  • On Monday morning WWE announced that WrestleMania XXX will take place at the Superdome in New Orleans on April 6, 2014.
  • This past week on Raw, The Rock unveiled the new WWE Championship belt. It's an alright belt, just have to get used to it.
  • Jack Swagger was arrested on Tuesday night after being pulled over for speeding. He was charged with a DUI and possession of marijuana. This couldn't have happened at a worst time for the WWE as he supposed to be in the World Championship match at WrestleMania XXIX.

Tensai and Brodus Clay are two very lucky men. Most couples dream of having the moment they fell in love captured on film, but these two could make their own movie with all of the footage shot of them dancing, laughing and giving the world the one thing that could possibly be more painful than Tensai’s facial ink – him in lingerie. What is more disturbing is his inability (or unwillingness) to take the damn thing off when he had a chance.

If you take Billy and Chuck, add a little Too Cool Scorpio, multiply by Das Wunderkid, divide by a spinaroonie and subtract the Rhodes Scholars’ purple Teletubbie vibe, you get the vibe of this new upandcoming tag team. I actually find myself cheering them on because it’s just too much of a trainwreck to look away. Naomi and Cameron can’t look away because they are jealous that Brodus found someone with a bigger rack (well, at least natural) than them.

I’m shocked that Tensai could find a babydoll in his size – though with it on he looked a Garbage Pail Kid more than a Cabbage Patch Kid. It’s a shame, really, because the babydoll would have had real potential on a curvaeous lady such as myself. So in honor of Tensai’s new fashion snse, I recommend these cute black scattered holographic earrings in Zoya Storm to match whatever he decides to put on next. As one of P&P’s best sellers, no one would be looking at his attire and would be staring at these stunners. You’re welcome.

Stay Puzzled and Polished!
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  • Kelly Clarkson unleashed on Clive Davis this week after Davis wrote false information about her and her career in his new memoir. Kelly really laid into him on Twitter and he deserves it especially after calling her a "shitty writer who should be grateful for the gifts that he bestows upon me." Go Kelly!
  • In the feel good moment of the week, Robin Roberts returned to Good Morning America on Wednesday morning after taking six months odd to undergo a bone marrow transplant. 


  • The Winnipeg Jets traded Alexei Ponikarovsky to the New Jersey Devils for a 2013 seventh round draft pick and a 2014 fourth round draft pick. (2/13/13)
  • The Pittsburgh Penguins traded Eric Tangradi to the Winnipeg Jets for a 2013 seventh round pick. (2/13/13)
  • The Montreal Canadiens traded Dustin Tokarski to the Tampa Bay Lightning for Cedrick Desjardins. (2/14/13)
  • The Nashville Predators traded Jan Lajunen to the St. Louis Blues for Scott Ford. (2/19/13)
  • After 16 seasons, the Buffalo Sabres have fired their head coach Lindy Ruff. They have named Ron Rolston as the interim head coach.
Alright that's it for this week. Next week we will have full recaps of the Academy Awards & Razzies, a full preview of the ROH 11th Anniversary IPPV and all our normal weekly coverage.

Before we wrap up, don't forget to visit our sponsor Puzzled and Polished. You can like on Facebook, follow on Twitter @PuzzledPolished and on Pinterest. It keeps growing so please help support the cause. There is a sale going on for the month of February, one item for $7 and two for $11. It's a great deal and worth it.

As always you can like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, @EReport1, Blake @Reilly21106, Joe @RADickey043, Mandy @Mama_Mandabear and Scotty @ScottFellows23. Also you can find Kyle on Facebook as well. You can also drop us an email at entertainreport@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for reading this week's issue and please continue to spread the word. Have a great week!

Entertainment Report Issue #21 EXTRA: 2013 Razzie Awards



Written by Kyle Palkowski
www.agonybooth.com
December 21, 2012 has come and gone, and we're still here. For some of us, it is a time to cherish what we have, to appreciate what would have ended had the apocalypse occurred. For another few, it's a time to figure out what to do about the credit card bills you racked up thinking 2012 was going to happen. For the ones like me who have no life other than their DVD and Blu-Ray collections and the local movie house, it's time to look at the Oscars and the schmaltz that gets nominated (I'm on team Lincoln). For the group who enjoy the worst of the worst... the Razzies are here to pay homage to the mediocre films that clogged up the multiplexes last year, films with emotionally manipulative vampires, borderline-rapist pedophile werewolves, Teletubby wannabes, cross-dressing black men, and a silent Eddie Murphy.

For this article to have any credibility, imagine for a moment that you live in a world where Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II will NOT sweep this year's wards. That said, let's get to it.

Worst Picture
  • Battleship
  • The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
  • That's My Boy
  • A Thousand Words
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2
Okay. Battleship really has no place on this list. It's a dumb action movie, never intended to be anything more than that, and succeeded. The Oogieloves would be my pick if it wasn't meant to be harmless kid's fare. I haven't seen That's My Boy, and don't ever intend to. We ALL know about Twilight. However, A Thousand Words deserves it: it wastes a good plot of a man learning to choose his words the hard way by giving it to a man who gets nearly all of his laughs in films USING words. Making him silent just cripples him.

Worst Actor
  • Nicolas Cage (Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Seeking Justice)
  • Eddie Murphy (A Thousand Words)
  • Robert Pattinson (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Tyler Perry (Alex Cross, Tyler Perry's Good Deeds)
  • Adam Sandler (That's My Boy)
Nicolas Cage makes any movie with him in it watchable (The Wicker Man, anyone?). Robert Pattinson actually HAS talent. Tyler Perry is too easy a target, as is Adam Sandler (who actually does wonderful in dramatic roles, just take a look at Reign Over Me). Eddie Murphy deserves it for not only willingly giving up the one thing that makes him funny, but for doing a piss-poor job at trying something new.

Worst Actress
  • Katherine Heigl (One for the Money)
  • Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil: Retribution)
  • Tyler Perry as Madea (Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection)
  • Kristen Stewart (Snow White and the Huntsman, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Barbra Streisand (The Guilt Trip)
No long-winded process of elimination here: Kristen Stewart, for the same bland, shitty personality-less performance in two equally shitty movies (one in which she cheated on her husband with, no less!).

Worst Supporting Actor
  • David Hassellhoff as himself (Piranha 3DD)
  • Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Liam Neeson (Battleship, Wrath of the Titans)
  • Nick Swardson (That's My Boy)
  • Vanilla Ice as himself (That's My Boy)
Why in the hell is Liam Neeson on here? Why? His performances were not bad in the least. Moreso, Vanilla Ice is nominated for a freaking cameo (hardly a SUPPORTING role), and I can't really talk smack about him (he gave us "Ninja Rap," and we are eternally grateful). Same logic applies to Hassellhoff, doubly so considering Piranha 3DD had no aspirations of being anything but a cheesy B-movie. Having not seen That's My Boy, I must pick Taylor Lautner, (either a FTM Kristen Stewart or a living cardboard cutout). Washboard abs and frequent shirtlessness DOES NOT cover up the ability to be outacted by the cast of a kindergarten play).

Worst Supporting Actress
  • Jessica Biel (Playing for Keeps, Total Recall)
  • Brooklyn Decker (Battleship, What to Expect When You're Expecting)
  • Ashley Greene (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Jennifer Lopez (What to Expect When You're Expecting)
  • Rihanna (Battleship)
When you're outacted by a swimsuit model, you're better off sticking to your music career.

Worst Screen Couple
  • Any two cast members from Jersey Shore (The Three Stooges)
  • Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Tyler Perry and his drag getup (Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection)
  • Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester, Andy Samberg, and Susan Sarandon (That's My Boy)
Hmm... charisma-less couple with heavy overtones of pedophillia? Taylor Lautner, Mackenzie Foy... COME ON DOOOOWWWNNNNN!!!!

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
  • Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
  • Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection
  • Piranha 3DD
  • Red Dawn
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2
I pose a question to you world: did you REALLY want another Madea movie? I rest my case.

Worst Director
  • Sean Anders (That's My Boy
  • Peter Berg (Battleship)
  • Bill Condon (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2)
  • Tyler Perry (Tyler Perry's Good Deeds, Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection)
  • John Putch (Atlas Shrugged: Part II)
Every director but one on this list has made at least one good movie. Anders made Sex Drive, Berg has several including Very Bad Things and Friday Night Lights, Condon has Gods and Monsters, and Putch has A Time to Remember. What does Tyler Perry have? The same damn movie made numerous times, and that original movie wasn't that good to begin with.

Worst Screenplay
  • Atlas Shrugged: Part II (screenplay by Duke Sandefur and Brian Patrick O'Toole and Duncan Scott, based on the novel by Ayn Rand)
  • Battleship (written by Jon & Erich Hoeber, based on the Hasbro boardgame)
  • That's My Boy (written by David Caspe, uncredited rewrites by Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy, Robert Smigel, David Wain, and Ken Marino)
  • A Thousand Words (written by Steve Koren)
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 (screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg and Stephenie Meyer, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer)
IT'S A TIE! either the screenplay for a sequel nobody wanted based on a wretched book that says selfishness is good and generosity is unnecessary, or a screenplay based on another wretched novel in a series that sets female rights back about a hundred years and made vampires and werewolves laughingstocks.

Worst Screen Ensemble
  • Battleship
  • Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection
  • The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
  • That's My Boy
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2
The Oogieloves deserves the award for the sheer amount of wasted star power: Christopher Lloyd, Cloris Leachman, Cary Elwes, Chazz Palmenteri, Jaime Pressly and Toni Braxton. Pitiful.